After the Podcast…

Congregational Turmoil: Navigating Adaptive Leadership Conflict Resolution.

Our July podcast, themed "The Blessings of Congregational Turmoil: Navigating Adaptive Leadership Conflict Resolution", highlighted the wisdom of an amazing social justice advocate, author, and UU trailblazer, Rev. Dr. Terasa Cooley, who currently serves First Unitarian Universalist Church in Columbus, Ohio. I had the pleasure of interviewing Terasa about community ministry and her insightful book, Transforming Conflict: The Blessings of Congregational Turmoil, a work that offers a profound perspective on conflict within congregational settings.

I found her approach to conflict to be refreshingly optimistic and transformative as conflict can often be seen as a deterrent to change… Something to be managed and controlled. Terasa suggested conflict transformation is not about merely managing or resolution. “It is about understanding that conflict exists because we have something to learn. When engaged with, in a healthy manner, conflict offers an opportunity for everyone to learn and change together.” This perspective is rooted in her extensive experience working with congregations in distress.

After reading her book, I found it to be a reflection tool for congregational leaders, offering a framework for embracing and transforming conflict rather than avoiding or suppressing it. The central thesis of her work is that conflict, when approached constructively, can lead to profound learning and growth for individuals and communities alike.

Terasa’s journey to this point has been deeply rooted in her upbringing. Growing up in Texas, she was often exposed to progressive conversations around inclusion and social change. This early exposure shaped her idealistic belief in the possibility of societal transformation. Her experiences in college further reinforced this hopefulness, but also involved learning the complexities of intersectionality and inclusion.

Addressing intersectionality in her role at First UU, she emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and active listening. She notes, “It’s challenging at times when you have a majority trying to break through in centering individuals who do not look like them.” To navigate these challenges, she focuses on making space for diverse perspectives and encourages others to share their stories. “It’s important to start with yourself,” she explains. By sharing personal experiences and understanding the journeys of others, congregational leaders can build connections and foster a more inclusive environment.

Terasa also spoke to the pitfalls of standing rigidly on one’s own opinions and being unwilling to consider a new way of thinking. She warned, “We get into trouble when we stand on our positions, lecturing at people” she shared, “Standing on one's own opinion can alienate a lot of people.” Instead, she advocates for finding common ground through shared values and mutual respect. This approach, she suggests, fosters a collaborative environment where diverse perspectives can be integrated into a unified vision.

An essential aspect of Rev. Dr. Cooley’s practice is the emphasis on listening and self-care. She reflected on her early ministry years, noting how neglecting self-care made her “brittle” and less effective in her role. 

She has since adopted practices that include baking as a ritual of self-care, establishing clear boundaries, and prioritizing days off. “I am absolutely adamant about taking days off,” she asserted, recognizing that this not only benefits her well-being but also sets a healthy example for her congregation.

Additionally, Terasa highlighted the value of spiritual direction and therapy in her personal and professional development. 

In sum, Rev. Dr. Terasa Cooley’s Transforming Conflict is more than a book; it is a guide to embracing conflict as a catalyst for growth and understanding in congregational life. Her approach underscores the importance of self-awareness, active listening, and self-care, offering a hopeful and transformative vision for addressing conflict in any community.

Check out the podcast recording here: